By Brendan McLaughlin

With 10 consecutive days off last week, I thought it might be nice to take a total break from the news.  Not possible.  Gyms all have TV's screens mounted for maximum visibility. News headlines are as close as your pager or cell phone.  Banner planes over  Clearwater Beach alert you to half-price Cosmo-ritas's at Salty's Shad Shack. That's technically news.

The best way for me to avoid the news was to stay busy in the backyard planting an assortment of species I hope can withstand drought, neglect and Airedale urine.  I purchased some shrubs, trees and flowers at a huge plant show at USF. The event was held at the Botanical Gardens and featured local  experts on everything from Asparagus to Zinnias.  And even though these enthusiasts spent decades studying the complexities of cycad reproduction, they invariably insist that growing their plants at home will be easy. "Just work some  bat guano fertilizer in to the soil every 5 weeks after covering the surrounding  quarter acre with a  thick paste of kitty litter, diet Mountain Dew and Fruit Loops. Mulch with a blanket of Canadian sphagnum moss, then serrate the edges of every fourth leaf for extra vigor!"

Instead, I dug a hole, stuck a plant in it, and checked my email.