By Brendan McLaughlin
"Ladies and gentlemen, I'm very proud to present to you: My Ass!" That seems to be the message sent by those young men who cinch their baggy jeans just south of the butt-thigh border. It's so commonplace nowadays that I've stopped gaping at this audacious display of sartorial rebellion. But today, while seated alongside a dozen others waiting at the DMV office, I couldn't help but stare. That's because the dude being served at counter #3 was standing squarely in front of us all, with his rear-end on proud display through a disturbingly sheer pair of boxers.
A young black women sitting in the next chair chuckled softly. I knew exactly what she was chuckling about. I gently nudged her in acknowledgment that we were in the presence of profound asininity.
"Does he go to work that way?", she asked quietly.
"Fashion is a powerful thing" I offered lamely.
"Must be" she said. "Even though they know it started in prison and everything that goes with that and they still wear their pants that way. Unbelievable".
"It's wrong!" said the 40-ish black woman on my other side, loud enough for Droopy Drawers to hear. "It's indecent exposure to walk around in public in your underwear. It should be illegal."
In fact, it is illegal in Mansfield, Lousiana where they enforce a "pull 'em up or pay up" law that subjects anyone who exposes his or her underwear to a fine of up to $150 dollars or up up to 15 days in jail (where the trouser trend started). Florida State Senator, Gary Siplin (D-Orlando) is trying to get a bill passed that would suspend students who parade their posteriors in public schools.
I'm leery of any fashion laws, especially ones that would inevitably targe young black males. The look is suggestive of a bare butt, but in fact, the boxer shorts do their job. The guy at the DMV was revealing no more than Lance Armstrong or Richard Simmons for that matter (shudder). I just think it looks silly, like wearing a bra over a sweater or running around with jockey shorts over your head. It's also an enormously impractical fashion choice. One hand is always required to keep from completely dropping trou and wearing the belt so low makes jazzercise and square dancing nearly impossible.
The best way to make this trend passe is for middle-aged white guys to adopt it. As soon as Mike Huckabee takes the podium with his butt hanging out of his sans-a-belt stretch slacks... it's over.
